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“In this emotional space, dating becomes a chore,” said therapist Paul Hokemeyer.“It’s viewed as yet another problem rather than a solution to free you from depression’s parasitic grasp.” If you feel the man you are dating is afflicted with this attitude, be patient.If the behavior hurts you emotionally, you should know he most likely did not intend to, said matchmaker Cassie Moffit, who has successfully matched couples with mental illness.Knowing this will allow you to be more patient and understanding.When you date a man with depression, it can become a struggle to maintain a relationship with him and protect your own mental health.The experience is not fundamentally different than dating someone without a mental illness, but there are issues that are more likely to arise.See it as the beginning of a discussion you can resurface occasionally.Depression often works like a game of telephone where no one wins. The person with depression would love to receive this kindness as it is, but their depression has set up a series of negative filters.
This bothers both sexes, but it seems to irritate men significantly more, according to the therapists and men Talkspace interviewed.Moffit described the effects of depression on dating as a “third person in the relationship,” someone unbearably negative or obstinate.There might be days when it seems like this third person possesses your partner, trying his best to disrupt the relationship or come between the two of you.Without excusing the behavior, be patient and understand this person is not at the core of who your man is. Protecting your mental health is more important than being with him, no matter how much it seems like he has become everything to you.If the relationship is bringing you more pain than happiness — despite attempts to make it healthy — leaving is the right decision.
You should leave any man who is not doing enough to make the relationship work, and men who suffer from depression are no exception.